What hurts the most?

Is it sexual or emotional infidelity?

Most men would reply sexual infidelity as this is a blow to their ego but for women, they would be most likely hurt with emotional infidelity. Source? None, just my imagination… So you might want to contribute to the poll.


But I saw one article by Sharon Begley, science editor of the Newsweek, about Of Sex and ‘Soulmates’ which you might find useful as well. It talked about the Mars vs. Venus theory… a person’s DNA … or simply a person’s history of upbringing.

Nevertheless, I have compiled most of the common signs to detect whether your partner is cheating on you.

To begin with, an emotional infidelity or affair stems from the usual friendship. If your partner seems to talk about a person most often or perhaps try to avoid the discussion about another person yet you know they are friends, there must be something going on.

Another sign of an emotional affair brewing would be when you’re partner seems to be preoccupied. Then suddenly, he/she no longer discusses or seeks advice on his/her personal problems perhaps related to work, finances… or just simply not telling you about his/her day during dinner or before bed time. Or in contrast, he/she might be overly thoughtful and caring perhaps to cover up for something.

You might also notice that your partner seems to be uncommonly and unpredictably away or unreachable. They appear to be wanting some privacy as they enjoy their alone time day dreaming or sneaking to have a short talk or reach out to the third party. Then this would be coupled with the sudden disappearance of credit card and phone bills.

Unusual attention or gifts received from your partner may be used as an excuse for the guilt.

What’s more painful, emotional affairs might lead to sex.

It is easier to spot a man or a woman having a sexual affair. Most of which are physical… are of physical evidence such as keeping condoms or birth control pills when one of you already has one. New underwear, clothes, perfume, etc. When you catch unusual smells of perfume, cigarette, etc. He/she goes home fully showered and claims having been to the gym. Unusual scratches, marks, stains…

A person’s sudden change in sleep pattern and sex drive can also be signs of both sexual and emotional infidelity. Emotionally, your partner may be unable to sleep well as he/she might be thinking about the other person. He/she might be suddenly disengaged with sex not only for the fear of suddenly blurting out the other person’s name while reaching the climax or probably just the guilt feeling or the suppression of which–of not being able to do the same act with the third-party. Sexually, your partner appears to be very experimental…it’s like re-enacting the evil deed and checking whether their partner would appreciate it or not.

When he/she surprisingly encourages you to go on the company trip, attend reunions on your own, giving you some alone time so your partner could in return have some time of his/her own.

Other signs include sudden interest in being in good shape, looking good in appearance and clothing, new hobbies, and music genre; sudden change in his habits and schedule.

Cheating partners can be very sneaky so some [not all] of these signs would be apparent. It varies depending on one’s personality… Any sudden change would give a you a signal… more than anything trust your intuition or simply trust your partner.

4 thoughts on “What hurts the most?

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention What hurts the most? « I'm not who you think I am -- Topsy.com

  2. oh my thanks for sharing “the signs” 😉 for now i’ll just trust my man.

    on what hurts the most, i feel that emotional affair is far more hurtful than sexual affair.

  3. Sexual infidelity is worse. One cause is for a woman to be too restrictive as to how often and in what manner she and her mate have sex. Don’t force a man to go elsewhere.

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