August 2 – tossing and turning then suddenly wide awake at 2am. went out side to get some fresh air, take a leak, and drink some water. went back to the room to get my blanket and pillow and propped myself at the couch to get some sleep. guess, i finally dozed off around 4 or 5am. then was awakened by the sound of my phone alarm by 6am…just the same, still alert.
August 3 – still tossing and turning until 2 am. was awakened by weird dream… a dream of circles and numbers that repeatedly flashed… 251 and 661. what could this be? went outside again with my pillow and blanket, hoping I’d get some sleep in the couch. 3, 4, 5, 6am zzzzz… then up by 8 am with my eyes wide open with 251 and 661 in mind. these numbers messed up my mind thinking I needed a 66 to win Php500,000 in the 7-11 Bingo contest being August 3 as the last day of the draw. I hate math but my mind couldn’t stop calculating the rest of the numbers. perhaps, it may be for a lotto winning combination: 1, 2, 5, 6, 25 and 51 or for the blazing 777 of the casino slot machine [2+5], [1+6], and [6+1].
August 4 – well-rested for the rest of the night but then startled by a bad dream at 5 am. who wouldn’t be awakened by being molested by a female patient in a mental institution? it was a terrible nightmare… I can almost hear myself moaning and crying subconsciously. I failed to go back to bed and began researching about this terrible insomnia caused by my medication [Reductil] and an old Indie song I’ve learned to love… Insomnia by Cynthia Alexander. Singing: ruby, lemon and blue… tangerine, green, purple, psychedelic…. dream in universal color as I lie awake with I-N-S-O-MNIA
August 5 – the unexpected happened… I woke up at 6:15am just when my phone alarm started playing “Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy…” finally, I had my peaceful sleep…I beat insomnia.
It is indeed my sleep journal as I knew I had to record my sleeping patterns so I have something to share with my doctor after a month of testing her new medication. She didn’t require it but I guess it makes it all more sane… a responsible thing to do.
My sleepless nights brought me into researching about insomnia. I never thought there were different types and patterns of which:
Types of insomnia
Although there are several different degrees of insomnia, three types of insomnia have been clearly identified: transient, acute, and chronic.
Transient insomnia lasts for less than a week. It can be caused by another disorder, by changes in the sleep environment, by the timing of sleep, severe depression, or by stress. Its consequences – sleepiness and impaired psychomotor performance – are similar to those of sleep deprivation.
Chronic insomnia lasts for longer than a month. It can be caused by another disorder, or it can be a primary disorder. Its effects can vary according to its causes. They might include being unable to sleep, muscular fatigue, hallucinations, and/or mental fatigue; but people with chronic insomnia often show increased alertness. Some people who live with this disorder see things as if they are happening in slow motion, wherein moving objects seem to blend together. Can cause double vision.
Patterns of insomnia
- Onset insomnia – difficulty falling asleep at the beginning of the night, often associated with anxiety disorders.
- Middle-of-the-Night Insomnia – Insomnia characterized by difficulty returning to sleep after awakening in the middle of the night or waking too early in the morning. Also referred to as nocturnal awakenings. Encompasses middle and terminal insomnia.
- Middle insomnia – waking during the middle of the night, difficulty maintaining sleep. Often associated with pain disorders or medical illness.
- Terminal (or late) insomnia – early morning waking. Often a characteristic of clinical depression.
I also researched on how I could beat this sleeping disorder. But most of the natural home remedies seem inappropriate like drinking a glass of milk with honey would only lead me to higher potassium level that might cause blood clotting because I’m also taking a pill to cure PCOS.
It got me thinking, was it just stress and it’s all in the mind? Yesterday’s events and relief gave me hope… hope that I would be free soon [just 2 more days!] and eventually enjoy a good night sleep. Can’t wait to bask in the sun, sand and waters of Bohol in 2 weeks!